Eternalizing Priorities

Finding myself swamped and surprised once again by this phenomena that happens at the end of each calendar year, I decided to ask God how I should organize my time (kinda wish I'd asked 3 weeks ago!).  I thought it would be a delayed and complicated response, perhaps taking months, or years, of transformation into another personality type...

But no.  The answer came immediately and as I was praying.  In fact within my prayer was the answer.

"Does it have eternal value?"

I grabbed pen and paper and listened.


1)  Is God asking you to do it?*
2)  Does it have eternal value?
3)  Is it a need?
4)  Does it bring you life?**

If not, let it go, because you can't, nor should you, try to do it all.


Those who care about you will understand.  Those who don't understand, don't care about you, they don't know how, because they don't know how to care for themselves.  Caring for ourselves is the first step in loving our neighbor as ourselves (the second commandment, which is like the first and greatest commandment to love God).  When we are cared for, we will understand how to care for others in a way that brings true life to them, and us, at the same time.  This is not selfishness, but awareness that we are human and need care, it's when we go beyond what we need that we become gluttons for self-gratification.





*God does not contradict His revealed word (Holy Bible), so everything we think we "hear" from Him must line up and pass the test of scripture.

**True life is doing what is truly good for you, this includes healthy rest and recreation (excercise, hobbies), being inspired by beautiful art, dating your spouse etc.

Let There Be Light

I love the freshness and lightness of November, the wind sweeping away the old in preparation for the most beautiful time of the year, when we celebrate the Light of the world stepping down into darkness...

Desires That Bring Death vs. Death That Brings Life

I heard an excellent sermon a few weeks ago (well, I've heard many recently too, but you know what I mean). It was on a subject I have written about before, lived out and fully embraced, but too often, or repeatedly, fail at. It is the subject of giving everything over to God. Hopes. Dreams. Purpose. Giftedness. Happiness. Everything. Because unless we do, we are not yet truly embracing the Giver of all those things, but the things themselves.

How to do this without killing desire? Well, we call it sanctified desire. But even that is not good enough, as I have discovered. Sanctified desire is desire that has passed through the refining fires of surrender to God's will, God's purpose, God's dreams for us, those dreams and hopes and desires within us that are good and God-given. How can something placed in us by God fall short of His glory? How can something designed by God still bring us to destruction?

I know that I have not been immune to inadvertently placing my hopes, dreams, and purpose in between God and I. I know how it all feels. It can be very raw. However, thankfully, pouring my brokenness at His feet has put me in a position to recieve His grace in time of need. I suppose what I have percieved to be one of my weaknesses has turned into my strength. Because when I'm honest with Him about my weakness, He shows Himself strong. And it happens in the context of relationship, relationship that keeps having the roadblocks I dump into it removed (by Him) when I lament what they do to me. Sounds really bent, but we all do the dumping, few of us do the lamenting. I think it's because we don't percieve that our pain is from us dumping things between us and God. We think it's caused by our circumstances that are out of our control and in God's control and so we have a big question mark about God's goodness (though we Christians may rarely admit it). Which reminds me of a tree God planted in the beautiful garden He made for us in the beginning, the tree we were warned not to touch because it would bring death. The first couple doubted God's goodness when they were denied something that looked good to them, something, in fact, that God had made. They were led down a garden path of thinking that they should have this good-looking, God-made fruit that would give them something that seemed beneficial in their eyes. We look back and think they should have trusted God, they should not have listened to the deciever. But we fail at the same thing on a constant basis. I have learned my lesson on this topic over and over and over again. And it's not because I'm un-intelligent (did an IQ test for fun once). I think it's because life is a series of tests, and a battlefield. Being tested in battle. The battle for worship.

Satan knows that what we worship actually owns us. He knows most of us are too smart to overtly worship him, so he provides substitutes, whatever it takes, to keep us from actually worshipping the Lord Jesus Christ, the Messiah, Son of God, the only way to the Father. Because then we would become like Him and that is life to us and death to satan's power. When Jesus said that “you will know them (true believers/false believers/immature believers/unbelievers) by their fruit” He was not kidding. He was talking about what forms in us and in our lives as a result of what we worship. And we all worship. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self Control. As we grow in our relationship with God, our worship being purified, our inner self being healed as we spend more time with Jesus, we will exhibit this fruit of the Holy Spirit in increasing measure (it doesn't happen overnight).

There is a danger zone, however, one where the spiritual battle gets fierce. As we become more like Jesus, satan becomes agitated and afraid. As we begin to understand how the keys to God's Kingdom, the Kingdom of Light, work, satan sends an all out assault to try to stop and reverse this transformation and promotion to new levels of spiritual authority. Satan knows who has authority over him and who doesn't, who can begin to take back what he took from humanity and who can't. This may all sound like science fiction, especially if you're from North America or Europe, but that's because we think science has the answers, but the rest of the world knows better, hopefully N.A. and EU will start catching up. I know the thought of occult activity is unpleasant, but their power has a source, his name is satan, he has an army of spirit beings that do his bidding to keep humanity in bondage and ignorance. God also has an army. Evil spirits are cast out of people in the name and authority of Jesus Christ and they are healed of whatever bondage or illness that spirit was enforcing in them (not all illness is caused by evil spirits necessarily, but is a result of a sick and dying planet), I've witnessed it in Canada and it happens all over the world too. In Africa the Christians are raising people from the dead. In China imprisoned Christians with broken feet “somehow” walk out of locked prisons and their feet are healed. But secular media won't publish that, because everything in this world is controlled by spiritual powers and so, to keep things in doubt, satan controls what information gets out to the populace and discredits, where possible, the media that would print the acts of God. Powerless churches full of hoopla that cater to the thirst for entertainment and comfort, but fail to teach personal relationship with Jesus, obedience to His voice, and repentance from sin, and loving your neighbour as yourself, don't help either.

True Christianity is wonderful and it is also very hard. Because dying to yourself, to allow His life to be formed in you, is painful at times. The wonderful part can only begin to be described. God is love. He loves us, unconditionally. He always loved us, even before we know Him. He cares about the details of our lives, about our hearts. He knows what brings death to us and in order to save us from that, He goes after the virus in our souls. The various idols that we worship. He goes after them, one, by one, by one. He challenges the idol, he exposes it's ugliness and the level of it's grasp on us, often by thwarting it. The common response is grief or anger as we feel the sting. Which, ironically, we blame on God, but if we had God in His proper place in our lives (on the throne of our heart), we would have peace and joy, not angst and grief. This is how God exposes the idols that have power over us.

This is how He heals us from mental strongholds too. Strongholds are ways of thinking that hold us in a death grip of destructive patterns that gained access through emotional wounding and sin, these can even be passed on through family lines to consequent generations. He removes all the shoddy dressings we've applied, He challenges the stronghold, exposes it's true identity, so that we can confess it for what it is, repent of it, and be healed. He does the healing. It's like magic. I am not kidding. I can testify to it in my own life. There is one prayer God always says yes to, and it is this: “Lord, remove any strongholds in me and heal my wounds.”*** Then brace yourself, but don't worry it will turn out well, and it will be worth it. I've survived and went on to thrive after several such encounters. God is good. Despite what you feel at the moment.

Love,

M

*** Before you pray this prayer, if you haven't yet invited Jesus into your heart/life, as your personal Saviour and Lord, you need to do so first. If you're not sure how, you can use the following as a guide:

“Lord Jesus I need you to cleanse me from my sins, I choose to believe you are the Son of God, as the Bible says, who came to die as an atoning sacrifice for all sin, so that I can be reconciled to Father God. I now surrender myself, and my life to you, come take your place in me as my Lord and Saviour. Thank you God for loving me so much that you sent your Son for me, I recieve your gift of life and love. Thank you for this fresh start in life. I welcome you Holy Spirit, to be my counsellor and comforter, as promised by Jesus. Amen.”

If you've just prayed this prayer to recieve salvation, welcome to the family! To learn more about your new life in Christ and to help keep you strong, ask Holy Spirit to guide you to the church that is right for you at this time, make contact with someone in leadership there and let them know of your new found faith, they will love on you and help you grow as you get to know Jesus for yourself. God bless you!

Own It.

Have you ever wronged someone?

Of course you have.

Did you realize it at the time?

Most likely not.

Did you realize it later in life?  Whether an hour, a week, or 2 years, or 10 years later?

When you realized what you had done, regardless of the other person's part in it, what did you decide to do?

What would Jesus do?

Would He have shunned the humiliation of the cross because we denied Him, to save our own behind?  To save face?  To not be inconvenienced?

No.  He went to the cross.  Because He loved God, His Father.  For the sake of the future.  Your future, His future, our future.

Taking ownership of our wrongs and doing the right thing, regardless of another's part in it, sets us free.

There is no guarantee that the others involved will accept our gift or act in any way upon it, but I can tell you this:  Your heavenly Father will be pleased with you and release you from any tendrils that clung to you from your past wrong that are choking you or tripping you up in the present.

Wherever it is possible, wherever we are aware (and God will know when you're pretending to be ignorant, and really it won't help your life to go on like that), let us right our wrongs.  It may be that all we can do is confess it to God and ask His forgiveness.  It may be that He will provide opportunity for us to speak with apology to those we've wronged.  It may be that we are able to do more than apologize, we may even be able to correct the wrong.

Whatever we can do, let us own our wrongs, for the sake of others, for the sake of ourselves, for the sake of the future.

Love,
M

True or False [Hope]?

I wrote this on some notepaper almost a week ago, but didn't have time to blog it until now.

I love my husband.

I love our children.

I love the home and life we've made together, that God has blessed us with.

Moments of panic or despair seize me when I see or feel that I've done nothing else with my life, or with my gifts and talents, or with my passions, because of defeat through my own flaws, or defeat through exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities and then a lack of sufficient time.

What good are my gifts and talents and passions then?

Most mammals can procreate, feed their young, the population has homes to keep. What gifts/talents/passions are needed for that?

Why am I the way I am, if I was not intended to use what I've been given? Better to have been born ordinary than to suffer my gifts to an ordinary (though nice and noble) life.

So I try to carve out a niche, I keep hoping, I try to protect the flame.

The other option, that I can see, is to snuff the flame and see if I can survive as a “Stepford”. I actually tried that for a couple weeks, but God did not bless it.

So the struggle continues and my hope is in God's grace being sufficient for my weakness and for my passion.

My hope is in His goodness. In His plan. And when I am weak, I rage, and the enemy prowls around like a lion, watching for his opportunity to bring me down.

He who hopes, lives; he who's hope is lost, is lost.

As the Church we have a hope. But even then, it is not church, but our relationship with Jesus, our knowing of, and knowing we are known by God, that gives true hope.

False hopes abound and are dashed every day, hearts and lives are lost.

I can only point in the direction of true hope as I find it myself, live it myself.

It is a huge battle to enter into the place where true hope lives, because of the one who knows his defeat is imminent, his power weakened, his authority taken away, when the children of God awaken to who they are in Him.

The nucleus of holiness that contains true hope will burn off us anything of no eternal value. The closer I get, the more I burn, the more I see how much I carry has no eternal value. His love for me is the only thing that keeps me moving forward. Period.

Later this past week I was desperate to hear what God would say, I even woke up at 3am and then got up at 3:30am to spend some alone time with Him, but even at that hour, my toddler decided to have loud conversation, so I went back to bed. Later that morning, as I stumbled toward the coffee-maker for that life giving elixer, He spoke: “Psalm 23:3”. Not being sure of what it said, I looked it up. In 30 seconds He is able to do so much with one. Little. Word.

“He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness,

For His name's sake.”

He cares about me. He restores my soul. He guides me. And He does it for me for the sake of His Name.

That pretty much clinches it.

I'm good for another, well... oh week, at least. :-)

No, in all seriousness, these things go deep and do their work. I was also blessed that same day from a meeting with one of my pastors. God is good. Period.

Love,

M

A War

Well, bit of a hiatus from writing and since this is an honest blog I will tell you what happened without telling you what happened. Someday I'll tell you both, but right now you will have to choose to either believe my chosen description or not. I feel like writing now, so I am.

Basically I've been in an active spiritual warzone since about mid May. I think, perchance, I stepped on the toes of some evil spirit and it went to town on me. It did so by mercilessly attacking my sleep through multiple means, not just one, but multiple means. It strove to consume every avenue of rest I had at my disposal. The lack of rest and sleep made me weak and provided it with some open doors to delve into my life further. I didn't know what hit me until I was neck deep in it, gasping for air. But Jesus was with me.

I would give you details if I knew you wouldn't be tempted to judge and label me, and who am I to place such vile temptation in your path, so, for now, no details. What I will share, is that while in the battle I felt my future, with my hopes and dreams, disappear. I was afraid at times, but God let me know He was with me and that gave me peace. He told me I was in His hand. I was able to trust Him with my heart, because we have been through a lot together already, and He had proved Himself faithful before.

I shared details with very few: my husband, my mother, my sister, my pastor and 3 others who I felt needed to know. They kept me in prayer. I believe their Holy-Spirit-directed prayers kept my head above water. I walked in, through, and out. And then “it” came upon me again. This time, however, I went straight to the Throne Room in Heaven and put my face at His feet and cried about what I should do. First He ministered His love to me. He spoke to me in songs. Next He opened my eyes. He showed me that I had misplaced my gaze in certain areas and that gave “it” opportunity. He said, “Put all your gaze back onto Me”. So I did.

He showed me some chinks in my armor, loopholes in my spiritual armor, that I didn't realize I helped to create. When there are holes in your armor, whatever the issue is, the power of your prayers in regards to that issue is then limited. Repentance repairs chinks in armor and restores your spiritual authority in Christ in that area. When there are unrepented issues, those areas, your flesh, becomes visible to the enemy, those areas are not hidden in Christ, they are holes in your armor and your enemy is an expert fighter well versed in combat. Basically you're screwed unless you know where to go and know your place. Pride is an Achille's heel the enemy will nurture in you, because he knows willful pride seperates us from God. Get on your face. This is one reason it helps to have others praying for you, because they may have authority where you do not. The chinks in their armor are different from the ones in yours. This is why we need each other. The church is to function as a cohesive body... “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”. James 5:16 NIV So I repented of the things He showed me.

Repentance repaired my armor and placed God's delegated authority back in my hand. I began to pray in my spiritual language. I began to feel strength returning to my spirit and I stood up, ready, and able, to fight. Fight and win. “It” left and took it's minions with it. Strength and healing returned to my body and soul. What lasted 2 months was finished in under 2 hours.

I will now make a few clarifications, so that folks don't jump to conclusions and/or make jackasses out of themselves:

One: Just because someone is going through a hard time does not mean they sinned and brought it upon themselves. We live on planet earth and stuff happens to us. Sometimes God allows us to walk through hardship so that we learn to access His peace, comfort and strength despite it, this grows us up into strong spiritual warriors. When things are going well we often forget what is important and that can be lethal, our spiritual muscles can atrophy.

Two: Sometimes God allows the enemy to think he has won in an area of our lives, because when the enemy gets overconfident in his dealings with us, God comes in and put's him in his place again and let's us participate (that part is fun). That is also training ground for spiritual warfare.

Three: The reality is we have been born into a spiritual battle between God's Kingdom and satan's. If you live on earth, you are in it, whether you like it, believe it, or not. All humans were created in God's likeness and all have potential to ruin satan's spiritual kingdom. He hates all of us, Christians in particular, because we have been given the keys of authority through the atoning work of Jesus Christ in our lives. Unfortunately many who call themselves Christians don't yet understand how the keys work, the less of a threat you are to satan's kingdom, the less he pays attention to you, however that is because he knows in the end you'll die anyway, and he's fine with that.

Calling yourself a Christian is no guarantee of heaven, knowing Jesus and proving your belief is. This by accepting His ultimate sacrifice to redeem you, by giving Him your life, the rights to your life, Lordship over you. He's the only one who deserves it and He went first (giving His life away), because of love. Jesus asks, the devil takes; Love vs. hate. How much light and dark is in us and where we are in the process of sanctification is proved by the ripening fruit of our thoughts, words, and actions. Fact of spiritual life. And everything is connected to spiritual life.

I think that's enough for today.

Shaken (song & lyrics by Paul Baloche)

Only a spotless lamb

For a sinner's soul

You gave me a heart of flesh

For a heart of stone


You brought me down to my knees

When I was full of pride

And took away all the places
I could hide


Those You love You will chasten


Everything that can be will be shaken

Everything that can be will be shaken

And only You remain

Only You remain

Wherever my treasure is

There my heart will be

I'm fixing my eyes on things

In the heavenlies

When everything is said and done

And swept away

I wanna be by Your side


In eternity

Those You love You will chasten

No suffering for the moment

Is pleasant but it brings forth

The peaceful fruit of righteousness

Jesus my righteousness

Only You remain

Only You remain

Veneer

I was about to go start a painting, but something I came across while eating lunch inspired me to write instead.

In true, honest fashion, I must say that shiny-happy-people-wannabees make me feel a whole lot of complex emotions, if you get my drift. FAKE! Is what immediately crosses my mind. I think this is why many stay away from church. Too many Stepford people, or walking dead, are filling the pews. Not all, of course, many are wonderful and authentic people, but enough to still keep many suspicious or discerning folks at a distance.

It is NOT ok to pretend you are happy when you are not, or happier than you really are. It IS OK not to feel happy when unhappy stuff is going on. It is NOT ok to force intellectual doctrine on the emotions of the heart. You will split yourself into multiples and then judge others for not doing the same. It IS OK to say, “stuff is going on that makes me feel like crap, but I know God has my heart and will minister to me.”

And when He does, because He will, give Him the glory. Then an authentic song of praise will spill from your heart.

Contrast that with, “(Look how awesome I am): I just worshiped my way to a breakthrough and prayed all night, (I rock! And oh yeah, praise Jesus!). Why can't you do that? (must be something wrong with you, try harder you weak Christian!)”. Who's getting the glory now?

Telling someone they “shouldn't be sad or down because they are saved by Jesus” and “if you just pray more or praise more or had more will-power you'd be fine”, is like a kick in the gut after you're already down from a kick in the head. It's like lemon juice on a cut. For those willing to be honest about it.

For those who are still afraid of their emotions and think that if they feel too sad or down then they must not be “saved”, and so you apply a veneer and tell yourself the veneer is real and the emotions are not, please stop. It's disgusting. And, it's unscriptural. God wants your heart, imperfect as it is, not your fake veneer.

And the real people of the world want to know a real God, not your veneer-accepting version.

Jesus was a man of sorrows.

King David was prone to seasons of depression.

But they knew how to bring that to the Father. They didn't do it with shiny-happy songs. They did it by being honest with the most understanding Being ever.

I cannot imagine singing praise when my heart is in pain. I would have to seriously shut that heart down to do it. Do you know what that sounds like? A religeous spirit. It will kill the very essence of you: your heart. The part God really wants.

A heart that's been killed is never really dead though, it lives in dark places where we keep it hidden and tranquilized with whatever it takes to keep it there. Tranquilized with too much alcohol, too much television, drugs, too many movies, too many romance novels, pornography, violence, gambling, overworking, adultrey, too much internet, too much shopping... All these issues exist both in and out of the church among those who are afraid to really bring their hearts to Jesus.

Bring your true heart to God. Your life depends on it. Say no to veneer. He will not leave you standing with your heart in your hands, He will embrace you and show you the path of His love. I know, because I've been there.

Ecclesiastes 7:3

Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart.

Ecclesiastes 3:4

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

Proverbs 25:20

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

Psalm 61:1-3

Hear my cry, O God;
    listen to my prayer.

From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

For you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the foe.

I think you'll find, when you pull off that veneer, there's something really beautiful hidden underneath, and God is waiting to begin the restoration.

The Extravagant Gift

Recently (well, 2 weeks ago now) the Lord pointed out that I have a problem with receiving extravagant gifts.

He used an example in the natural (a gift my husband gave me), to illustrate a parallel in how I have been treating my spiritual gifts, one in particular. I repented, so that He could heal me. I repented of shame and the "fear of man" (people). I didn't think I had those 2 issues, but He showed me, in the context of my increasing discomfort and inability to truly receive a beautiful gift that my husband gave me over a year ago.

I originally received the gift with great joy, but as I began to use it, all these other feelings would come. I kept the gift hidden from most people. I even began to express my doubt, to the giver, about whether I should have the gift.

God exposed the root of the problem: I was afraid of how others would feel if they saw what I had, I was afraid of being judged. I was more afraid of what others would think, than what I was doing to my husband's heart. My husband delighted to bless me with an extravagant gift, because his love for me is abundant and extravagant.

Just like God's love.

God said to me, “You are afraid of being judged for it by man, more than you are afraid of how I'll feel in your waning enthusiasm.” (If you love your husband, and his heart, enjoy the gift he gave) He was paralleling that with the spiritual gift He (God) has given me.

My response was: Because it is a thing, a rich, extravagant thing, and there are poor everywhere.

He said, “Yes Magda. There are poor everywhere. Will you keep Me hidden, then, as well?”

The penny drops.

God said (and my husband would agree), “I have given it to you with great joy, I want you to use it without shame.  Shame has been robbing you of the blessing the gift was intended to be.”

How often does satan use shame to rob us of blessing and joy?

At every opportunity.

Like today, when I wanted to cut holes in a paper bag and put it over my head.

How freaking lame is that?

Well. I guess that's it then. I've been sitting on this post for a couple weeks, until I wrote my 'Shock Of Age(s)?' post. See? There is a God who answers even pathetic “X”yr olds with too many mirrors.

The bright, white, Light revealeth all.

Carry on... and don't forget, God gave each of us shiny stuff.  Don't get robbed.

(Don't believe me?  The day I determined to act on this revelation and use the gift without shame, something fell on it and dented it.  A freak accident?  No way man.  That was a vindictive act in direct response to my decision.  An effort to, once again, steal my joy.  I see it as a battle scar.  They happen, and I'm still alive to tell about it.)

Shock Of Age(s)?

I confess.

Right now I am in a funk.

I don't, at this particular moment, care about inner beauty etc., because I noticed some stuff in the mirror.

Plus it's raining again.

Plus there was stuff in the little mirror and the long mirror and the wide mirror.

So I'm quite bummed out, actually.

If anyone says a peep about inner beauty, I may become violent. If you are tempted to preach I suggest you run.

Right now I am being tempted by things I normally think are a bad idea and cost lot's of money (which I don't have). Just as well, they make people look fake and rubbery anyway, some improvement (they paid for that? Egad.)!

Right now I am not being thankful, nope. I want to spit and cuss. Well, fine, at least I'm not a liar.

That's it.

That's right, nothing redeeming, nada. When God shines His bright, white, light in here I'll let you know.

Anyone seen the brown bag and scizzors?

BLAH.

WHAT IF HELL IS REAL?

I just finished reading an article in Maclean's May 13, 2013 issue titled 'What if Heaven is Real?'. It brings forward interesting information and reports on books written by folks who've had near death experiences (NDE's) or have been dead and revived. They write that Heaven, or the idea of a heaven-like afterlife, is hot and that hell is colder than ever (in popular opinion polls). They state in the article that even modern Christians are struggling to reconcile a loving God with the idea that He would condemn sinners to hell. And my mind took off.

I see a problem, or a fault, with the popular understanding of what hell is, not only in this article, but in our society's beliefs on it, which this article reflects. If hell is not real, then what about evil spirits? We know they exist, so if there is a loving God and good spirits (angels) is it not logical, then, that these two groups live in separate areas? All the accounts of NDE's have reported love and comfort where they went (heaven). They did not report feeling or seeing any evil spirits. So where do the evil spirits come from? Very few people, especially journalists of popular news, want to delve into that one. If they really wanted to do some investigative reporting, they'd find a motherload of evidence pointing to the existence of a place that is devoid of love. God is love. There is a place where God isn't.

So how come those who don't necessarily profess or support Christianity in their NDE's, went to heaven? My answer to that is, their life is not over yet. The lack of judgement they speak of in their NDE experience of Heaven is in line with what the Bible teaches. Judgement will be at the very end, when all the dead are raised, standing beside the ones who will still be living. My understanding of judgement is not that it condemns people to hell, as many of us would do to each other, but that God will look at the heart and judge that a person should not be condemned to the place that is devoid of His presence, aka hell.

If we believe God is who He says He is, then He is perfectly capable of providing a way for His creation to understand things of an afterlife or death magnitude. Not only that, but He should also be able to communicate important knowledge on the importance and impact of this present life, even if He does it through imperfect vessels. Some, including myself, believe the Holy Bible to be that communication. It is one of the most supported works of literature in human history, the thousands of supporting, ancient manuscripts that have been found and authenticated by science elevates the Book to historical fact status. It is not scientific fact, because only that which can be repeated in a lab can hold that label. The historical fact label is achieved by well documented eye-witness accounts (like the Mayflower brought pilgrims to America). Which the Bible has.

So this is the thing. If hell is a place where God isn't and He gave us the knowledge on the topic of Himself, if we choose not to enter into the place where He is, via the door He provided, then by default we remain where we were. The Bible tells us that in this age, hell is not allowed to take over, that the Holy Spirit keeps it back, to give us the opportunity to decide freely. We live on a planet that currently manifests the characteristics of both heaven and hell, through the choices we make each day. We see this and the Bible also speaks to that. Humans influence, and are influenced by, the spirit world. We see it and the Bible speaks to that. So what is causing all the confusion? What is causing all the doubt?

Suppose that doubt and confusion were functions of evil spirits who are the enemies of God and His angels and, because we are all created in God's image, enemies of us as well.

Why is Christianity the most controversial faith on the planet?

Why is Christianity the only religion who's God died for the love of mankind?

The NDE's all agree in their experience of love after they died.

“There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends.” John 15:13 Aramaic Bible in Plain English

Would not the One who is Love, demonstrate the greatest love?

If there is no hell, why does the Bible tell us of the Son of God, Yeshua, Emmanuel (God with us) coming down to teach us and to die in order to provide a way for us to escape it?

The article surmised that personal healing was evident in many of the NDE's.

The Bible tells us that salvation (sozo), and as demonstrated by the accounts of the life of Jesus Christ, is for the healing of our spirit, soul AND body. The healing of the whole person.

If God is love, where does hate come from? If there is a heaven, why do people struggle to believe in a hell?

Because we want what we want, the way we want it. We are selfish from birth. We create God in our own image, to our personal likes and dislikes. We are being influenced.

The good news: If we are really and genuinly interested in truth, despite what it might do to our personal beliefs, we will find it. If all we want is to feel better and find support for our own theories, we will find that too, unfortunately the end results (and some current results) will be different and only time will tell.

Love has a source, so does evil. To believe in a heaven and not a hell, is wishful thinking, in my opinion.

My prayer is that people will see God's heart for us and His provision for our healing and reconciliation to Him. I pray that I would grow to be a more accurate representation of His heart toward others, that I would live my life in a way that brings honour to God and draws people to Him, rather than repelling them. God forgive me and God forgive the Church where we have so sorely failed in that. God help us all.

Beyond Cynicism: the Renewal of Prophetic Purity - By Brad Jersak and Peter Helms

I am re-blogging this from www.clarion-journal.com because this is a much needed message to the Church and especially to those who operate in the realm of the prophetic and apostolic.

A friend sent me the link to this earlier this morning, this is Truth and Spirit, my prayer is that we are able to see and hear what the Spirit is saying to the Church.

Looking back I can trace events in my own life that seem to parallel the timing of this call to the Body of Christ.  I know God is doing this and has been doing this.

It is time for the prophetic to grow up.

It's time to be humble.

Love,

Magda

October 10, 2008

Beyond Cynicism: the Renewal of Prophetic Purity - by Brad Jersak and Peter Helms

Intro:

As the apostolic / prophetic movement has become increasingly bizarre, many who were told to simply bless everything are now deeply disillusioned. In these days when renewal meetings, alleged outpourings and flamboyant leaders have reached a point of crisis, it is tempting to throw up our hands, become cynical and opt to retreat to a safer, saner spirituality. And yet we know in our hearts that we can't go back to a Christian faith without the presence, power and voice of God. Neither dead orthodoxy nor practical deism can provide a harbour for us. Some are simply walking away from the faith altogether. Is that really our only option? How do we stay open to the Spirit? How do we restore prophetic purity? How can we continue to engage in authentic experiences with God without becoming wacky? What if we were to recalibrate our faith practice and renew prophetic purity?

The apostle Paul foresaw our dilemma when he said, "Do not put out the Spirit's fire. Do not despise prophetic utterance. But test everything and hold on to the good stuff." (1 Thess. 5)

The following represents a discussion between Peter Helms and Brad Jersak which was presented at Appleseed Lodge in Westbank in early October. That evening, they pushed these buttons, made their confessions and fervently sought God for a fresh, pure prophetic encounter in community.

Our Goal

Our goal of is not to vent our frustrations or point fingers at ministers or ministries involved in the prophetic renewal. Such scapegoating serves only to let ourselves off the hook too easily and just as importantly, distracts us into missing the deeper dysfunctions of a system that needs deconstructing.

Our goal is two-fold. First we would seek God in helping us locate some of the defects and dysfunctions in the prophetic renewal streams at large. Second, we would open ourselves afresh to an authentic ministry of the Holy Spirit. I.e. We would invite the Holy Spirit to help us discern a way back to the living heart of the prophetic, rather than simply discarding everything indiscriminately.

I. Deconstructing the dysfunctions

Recently, one of our own mature prophetic ministers came trembling with this message from Jeremiah (in early August). She said, “Something has happened; I don’t know what it is … but I feel sick. We need to seek the Lord and examine ourselves because Jeremiah 5 is the word He’s giving right now.” After I read the chapter, I felt sick too—we entered a time of examining ourselves in light of the following verses:

Jeremiah 5:11-13; 5:30-31

The house of Israel and the house of Judah
have been utterly unfaithful to me,"
declares the LORD.They have lied about the LORD;
they said, "He will do nothing!
No harm will come to us;
we will never see sword or famine. The prophets are but wind
and the word is not in them;
so let what they say be done to them." "A horrible and shocking thing
has happened in the land: The prophets prophesy lies,
the priests rule by their own authority,
and my people love it this way.
But what will you do in the end?

It soon became clear that whatever was up was bigger than our fellowship or our city. The Lord was pointing to a broader infection across the continent, cracks in the foundation of the whole apostolic / prophetic stream. It’s a time for deconstructing and rebuilding according to God’s plumbline. We’re reminded of Jeremiah’s call.

Jeremiah 1:9-10 

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."

So the Lord has been identifying specific structural defects across the board. While some have tried to warn us and to weed through the problems as they saw them (in the face of great resistance), only now has a broader openness to testing and correction emerged. Many in the Body of Christ are saying, “It’s about time.” What are the underlying issues that made us vulnerable to deception, delusion and abuse. How did we get so far astray? The following represents only a partial diagnosis of some of our flaws (both leaders and followers seem equally complicit).

1. The abandonment of Jesus of Nazareth (the Jesus of the Gospels in his life, character and teaching) as our anchor for truth.

In the context of increasingly bizarre manifestations and obvious mixture, too often an attitude of "WHATEVER" is communicated, such that the truth doesn't seem to matter. Doctrinal purity is often set aside as secondary to manifestation... or even mocked. But let's remember what doctrine is: the Spirit-revealed truth about Jesus Christ and the Gospel of Salvation. These are not trivialities to be laid aside while the party goes ‘off the hook.’

At some point in the renewal, we opened a door to 'anything goes' and so it has. We've tolerated serious excess just because “the worship was good” and allowed our discernment to go out the window. One renewal leader suggests that some of our worship songs subtly shifted from who Christ is and what He has done to a focus on our own passion for him, our own claims of piety and spiritual grandiosity. This introduced a seductive element in which we allowed ourselves to dismiss the most basic discernment of obvious excesses. We became distracted and deluded by an ever-increasing need for the bizarre.

In addition, there has been a greater impatience with those who insist on aligning our teachings and practices with Christ of the Gospels, esp. when he doesn't seem to endorse our agendas. Just one example: the imperial principalities of nationalism, patriotism and militarism have been major themes that have co-opted and saturated the prophetic more and more in recent years. When prophetic conferences become political rallies, we have lost our focus on Jesus of the Bible, whose testimony is supposed to be the spirit of prophecy.

2. The abandonment of authentic relationships with one another as a core value. We fail to live in true community when we make pacts not to critique one another for fear of being seen as negative. Our “bless everything” mentality is a misrepresentation of true covenant. Where ‘covering’ and accountability was required and requested, photo-op coronations based in very little real relationship won the day. Some have confessed in retrospect that they needed to be on board and on stage because of they needed to advance our own ministry. 

Authentic relationship requires that we love one another to call each other on our stuff and truly listen when so confronted, rather than leaving it to the websites of anonymous witch-hunters. But when this was attempted, some in our midst were accused of being demonized and even threatened with death at the hand of God. Discernment of this sort was forbidden and explicitly cursed.

3. A tendency by some of the prophets to reject being tested. Such testing and weighing was seen as being reserved for Bible times and no longer appropriate or welcome. This is in obvious contradiction to 1 John 4, 1 Thess. 5 and Rev. 2. But these texts are written off -- insistence on testing was seen as having an authority-issue or even quenching the Spirit. “Touch not the Lord’s anointed” became a slogan imported to tell the sheep to shut up about the abuses they saw and experienced. Contrast this to the words of Christ in to the church in Ephesus:

Revelation 2:1-3

To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

4. A mis-identification of the glory of God as an ethereal disembodied presence to be chased and felt with no reference to personal Christian love… This error seems to be a soft form of the ancient and now revived heresy called gnosticism. Gnosticism downplays and degrades life in our bodies in the earthly realm as subspiritual. Gnostic forms of Christianity becomes enamoured with claims of special heavenly experiences where the prophetic elite access secret knowledge of God and bring down the illusive but inebriating glory. We’ve seen this resurface with a vengeance in our meetings where folks are more inclined to look for smoke in the rafters than the presence of Jesus in those sitting next to us.

This is in contrast to Jesus prayer where the chief issue of glory is that Christ himself is glorified. Glory is not a commodity to be sought from men but an honour that the Father has given his Son. As Christ is glorified, his promise is to infuse and fill believers themselves with the glory of God, with His Spirit, with his own character, and especially with the love of God.

John 17:20-24 

I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

The apostle John confronted proto-gnosticism with these words of Jesus, who said that the Father had specifically glorified him and that through the Holy Spirit, this glory would fill the church with love and bring about love-union between believers and with God. The glory of God would be in us, manifest as Christian love for each other, for neighbours and for our enemies. Rather than trying to escape the flesh and exit to another spiritual plane. Christianity is about the Word made Flesh, first in Christ, then in us. The kingdom life is found on earth as in heaven... as widows and orphans receiving care, the sorrowing comforted, those with addictions set free, the sick cared and prayed for, and so on. Rather than divorcing heavenly life from earthly life, Jesus brings them together in the Incarnation.

5. The slippery language of anointing and impartation. The anointing is treated as a commodity of spiritual power that specially empowered leaders carry and use to minister. This spiritual power can somehow be imparted to those who are anxious to come get the anointing and bring it home with them. Contrast this to the apostle John’s identification of the anointing as a living person, the Holy Spirit who lives within ALL of us and whose primary ministry is to teach us / guide us into the truth of Jesus (John 16).

1 John 2:18-19; 2:26-27

Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.

I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.

The anointing then is not found through the impartation of special prophets and apostles. Rather, it comes from the Holy Spirit as we abide in intimate fellowship with Jesus.

6. Exalting a man or woman and creating a ‘party spirit’ (factions)

1 Cor. 3:21-23

So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.

The party spirit groups into factions around our favourite teachers and prophets, whose ‘round tables’ are reminiscent of those self-congratulating super-apostles that opposed Paul’s ministry among the Corinthians. We see and covet their anointed ministries and seek to be identified with them. We are often motivated by a fear of ‘missing it,’ whatever 'it' is. Paul says this is futile. You already 'have it' ... all that God is, has been given to Christ. And all that Christ has, is available through abiding in Him, being grafted as branches into the Vine. The anointing of the Spirit flows from His spiritual veins into our hearts through intimacy with Jesus.

If we are truthful, many of the self-proclaimed apostles and prophets are found to be taking the Lord’s name in vain (ascribing to God that which is not of God). Many of our prophetic words have fallen to the ground, but this is generally ignored or spun into a different message so that we won’t look wrong.
It really is okay to enjoy the ministries of specific leaders, but when we put them on any kind of pedestal, we are setting them up for a fall and then we resent them for disillusioning us and falling short of our expectations. That’s not fair to them. On the one hand, the entourage of the prophets and apostles need to beware of how they are creating these pedestals and then scapegoating the leaders who fall from them. On the other hand, from the leadership side, we need to be aware of how we subtly train the flock of God to do this very thing. Wherever we model a style of ministry that encourages the masses to look to the ‘anointed leader’ (the OT word for the Messiah!) to impart an anointing that is not already resident in the believer, we diminish the work of Jesus and the gift of the Holy Spirit.

7. The practice of seeking an anointing and impartation through special leaders, we often seek to bypass the journey of discipleship with a quick fix. In fact, we tend to hope that discipleship can be short-cutted through good things -- deliverance, inner-healing, laying on of hands, speaking in tongues, slaying in the Spirit -- or any kind of “getting zapped” that we think might rescue us from the path of Christian growth known as ‘the way of the Cross.’ This is as much a cultural malady rooted in drive-thru’s as it is a spiritual quick-fix. But some of our best prophetic voices are going so far as to call this 'witch-craft'. We ought to check that we're not engaging in practices that seek a miracle drug for our humanity or some magical exemption for having to actually following Jesus!
A lot of good attended the pilgrimages we took to renewal hotspots … many of us were refreshed and refuelled for the journey, not to mention experiencing wonderful people, teachings and worship times. We often met God in profound ways as we ‘soaked’ or did ‘floor time.’ We dare not throw out the baby with the bathwater. At the same time, these are the days to check our hearts when we run all over the world looking for a kingdom that is already promised to be among and within us wherever two or three are gathered. Remember Jesus words:

Luke 17:20-23

One day the Pharisees asked Jesus, “When will the Kingdom of God come?" 
Jesus replied, “The Kingdom of God can’t be detected by visible signs. You won’t be able to say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘It’s over there!’ For the Kingdom of God is already among you.” Then he said to his disciples, “The time is coming when you will long to see the day when the Son of Man returns, but you won’t see it. People will tell you, ‘Look, there is the Son of Man,’ or ‘Here he is,’ but don’t go out and follow them." 

II. Beyond Cynicism

For some, these dysfunctions lead to cynicism – but surely this is just another pseudo-prophetic response. Taking the pendulum from one extreme to the other only flips the prophetic dysfunction on its head… but it’s the same spirit, the same hubris and contempt that we think we’re renouncing. A true prophet can diagnose disease and then offer a word of hope. The cynic sees the same problems but then both surrenders hope and steals the hope of others. The former prophesies correction by the Holy Spirit. The latter prophesies despair by a critical spirit.

As much as we need to repent for the above character defects in the prophetic foundation, even more, we want to keep our hearts open to the authentic ministry of the Holy Spirit. We want Christ-centered, Spirit-communities of love that flow freely in the genuine prophetic. Instead of throwing up our hands or receding in resentment, we would exhort the Body of Christ to pursue Christ for the sake of Christ, not for the sake of experience. Christian relationship will be experiential, but it always needs to orbit and fixate on Jesus himself. The experience is not the point. Jesus Christ is the point. Signs and wonders will follow us when we follow Him. But chase the signs and wonders and we’ll find we’ve left and lost the path of Jesus somewhere along the way. We believe this has what has happened in our day. It’s time to find the compass of truth and return to Jesus. 

Where shall we start? What can we do about that immediately? This is just a beginning:

1. Let's pray and ask Jesus to give us a fresh love for the truth.

These are the days for a clear-minded focus on the essential truths of the Gospel.

1 Thessalonians 5:6-8
So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.

2 Thessalonians 2:9-12
The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.

We need a much higher regard for truth - truth in our relationships to God, to one another and to life itself. The truth matters ... more than a concept, an idea or a code, the truth is found in honest relationships. Further, Jesus said, I am the truth.

So now, we reaffirm that the content of our faith does matter and needs to be aligned with the teaching of Jesus and the apostles. Let's pray for a fresh love for this truth. But this won’t be a quick fix. It requires a commitment to a lifestyle in which we saturate ourselves with the very words of Jesus, submitting ourselves to those texts with which we find ourselves under His gaze. Will we allow the truth to evaluate us? Will we let Him salt our hearts with the fire of truth, sobering us up with a cleansing word? Yes! Let’s invite that truth to come with all our hearts.

2. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. We need to recall that the prophetic is primarily meant to testify to the person of Jesus and exalt Him. “The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” We choose today to commit to a discipline of boldly modeling two practices in this regard:

a. That we will equip and encourage the whole church with a reminder that they ALL have the Anointing and the Anointed One (He is them, they in Him) to hear and see the glory of God in the face of Jesus for themselves. We will resist modeling the use of prophetic personalities as mediums in any sense, reminding the sheep that the Good Shepherd is calling them by name. He must increase, we must decrease. (In that order)

b. That our prophesying will first and foremost be with reference to Jesus. The point of prophecy is Jesus. To begin with, let's ask for a word from heaven about who Jesus is, as we see in Rev. 1 and at the beginning of each of Jesus’ messages to the seven churches. Second, we resolve to make every personal or corporate prophetic word ultimately about who Christ is and what He is doing in individuals and groups.

For us, this has been a message through which we hope Christ will wash out blots and iron out wrinkles in the Bride’s wedding gown. We hope it will bring new freedom to both leaders and laity from that which would hinder us from a greater openness and awakening to God’s kingdom work. We sense that if we can receive Christ’s correction and avoid cynical reactions, we’ll know a deeper intimacy with Him and a greater advance of His kingdom in the coming days.

Of Prison and Freedom

The ways of man and mere religion form a prison.  The ways of the Spirit of God bring freedom.

How Do You Feel? Really?

I like telling God how I feel.  I always feel better after I tell Him.  Doesn't matter what it is.
Talking to Him, whether I'm doing well, or poorly,  is real relationship.

When I'm honest with Him, He honors it and reveals Himself to me in a way that helps me to know Him better, know His character, His strength, His peace, and His unconditional love.

When I'm ugly, He is beautiful.  When I'm angry, He is peace.  When I'm sad, He is comfort.  When I'm happy, He delights.  When I stumble, He is gentle, and kind and precise.  He leads me to repentance.

He also gave me gifts of expression.  Perhaps I feel so, to express.  I feel spiritually.  I feel emotionally.  I feel physically (too much, that actually drives me a bit crazy, but I guess it's part of the package).  I feel.

My brain has a hard time letting go of what I am intensely feeling, most people don't have that struggle, many have it much worse than I.  It has been a long road of learning, to identify and respond better to what I feel.  Mostly what I feel spiritually.  Because what I pick up on feels so real it feels like my stuff.  Much of the time it's not.  This is, I think, why the Bible tells us to take every thought captive (to test it).  People who are sensor/feelers can feel really crazy if they don't.

The Really Big Upside?  Wherever the Spirit of God is, feels absolutely WONDERFUL.

Restoration Hardwired

I was very pleasantly surprised this morning by a hefty package on my doorstep from Restoration Hardware. It contained gorgeous catalogues of their various collections, almost 3 inches thick. I began to salivate. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. I waited to open them at a more opportune time, when I could truly savour the delight.

I finally opened the cover of the 1 inch thick “RH Interiors Spring 2013” catalogue this afternoon, coffee in hand, and read the opening letter from Gary Friedman, Chairman Emeritus, Creator and Curator. As I read his words of heart and passion, my heart began to thump, and I felt I would begin to weep. What he was writing about is authenticity. Passion. Hope. Dreaming. Being who you are with gusto, and in so living your life, being a contagious catalyst for the inspiration of others to be so propelled and glorious as well. When you shine, you give others permission to shine too, I heard this saying somewhere and have adopted it. But what made me want to weep is that this has been God's dream for the Church. Yet. We are not, as a collective, universal, Body of Christ, as passionate about God and Jesus as Gary and Co. are about their furniture. About their dream. Why not?

Why not?

My theory? Because the majority of those who call themselves the Church and Christian, don't know God. And so I wanted to weep. Because I feel God's heart for His Church, His Bride, His Body on earth. She has wandered. She has stuffed Him into her head, separated Him from her heart, and now wanders the desert like a zombie freak wondering why so many run from her.

But what if.

What if each zombie Christian and Church gave the Holy Spirit permission to do what He wills in His people, (those who profess His Name)? What if Christians let Jesus be Lord of their lives, instead of just paying lip service. What if Christians admitted their need for the power of God to restore their brokenness. What if they experienced the unconditional love and the gracious gift of healing in their hearts, minds and bodies that Christ offers?

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. But we don't just need saving from satan and his kingdom of darkness, we need saving from ourselves too. From the falseness we create as a security blanket, we don't know ourselves as beautiful, because we don't know God as beautiful, in who's image we are created. At one time or another, each of us experience a wound and a lie. It goes deep, and is indiscernable, at times, from our DNA, it grows up with us and becomes a part of who we, and others, think we are. But. God had a failsafe installed. We are restoration hardwired. Each one. But we don't run on batteries.

I love God, because He loved me first. I believe, because I have experienced. I have found, because I chose to seek. I got answers, because I asked. Him. And those He put in my path. I am grateful. He is the power source that restores what is broken. I am grateful. I am part of a Church that has chosen to plug in. I am grateful.

It is a journey, to shine. Restoration is painful. Think of a house that has had poorly planned additions and shoddy work done to it, or neglect. Sometimes a gutting is in order. But we are each a masterpiece of the world's premier Architect. We have good bones. We are made for beauty and pleasure, to have Divine relationship. We are made for love of the purest form. We are made to live out of that place.

Imagine. Dream. Hope. Be inspired. Shine!

Ms. Grumpypants

I feel grumpy today. I will now identify the possible reasons why.

I woke up with a thick feeling in my throat. I don't do sick well. It's overcast and raining. My toddler is grumpy and her coughing and sneezing seems worse. I have a long list of domestic duties facing me today. How boring is that. Not only boring, but some of them I hate. Not dislike. Hate. I don't like spending any time of my days doing things I hate, especially since there are also many things I must do each day that I also dislike. So I procrastinate. This makes me feel worse, as guilt kicks in. I don't like being manipulated, which guilt does, so I push back. This can be translated as “digging my heels in and affirming my right to hate and love certain things, this is me, take it or leave it.” That kind of thinking then leads to questioning life decisions I've made. Which leads to worse thoughts. Now what do I do?

I can pep talk myself and perhaps count my blessings. I can practice thankfulness for the 1000 things that I have been blessed with. I can smack a smiley face on (science says this makes you feel better). I can stuff my feelings. I can deny the passionate me that feels at a million decibles. I am sorry, but that just would not be authentic. I don't do fake. My heart and mind need to operate on the same playing field or we are going to have a problem... something like an underground volcano in New York.

I am, what God made me. How do I navigate life according to the Spirit, being such a feeler? It has felt like a curse, at times. Like a bad joke. Yet I believe. In God's goodness, in what Jesus preached. Basically, I have learned a lot about grace. And mercy. Not as a license to sin, but as a loving gift from a loving heavenly Father who sees the big picture of me at all times. That Ming vase was once a slimy lump of clay, but the potter didn't throw it away, because He sees the vessel He is creating.

The lump of clay observes that life on the spinning wheel can be boring. It observes that the firing furnace is not fun (“I am thankful that it's not freezing in the furnace”. Really? Pfft.). But.

At the worst of times, I can say, that calling His name has been the difference. His strength. Not mine. My strength is s**t, really. That's what I mean by grace and mercy. Grace, He loves me and hears me and answers me, despite me. Mercy, I am still here. Still a believer. Because of what He has done for me.

I will now continue on with my crappy day.

Best,

M

The Faithfulness Of The Paperboy

So I asked the Lord this morning how He wanted to speak to me. I then poured another cup of Starbucks, dark roast, into my thus branded mug as the words, “faithfulness of the paperboy”, crossed my mind. Nothing else was coming, so I was, like, really? And began to think about sitting outside on the front step, on this gorgeous morning, with my Bible. Then thoughts of, “rain or shine, the news gets delivered” and an image of my Macbook gets implanted in my mind. I imagined sitting in front of it, one sentence typed: The Faithfulness of the Paperboy. Period. Ugh.

Then a question pops in, “Do you have faith that I will give you the words?” Yes. Yes I do. But the subject sounds boring, to be honest, so I'm thinking (hoping) it's not You. Then I hear, “Obedience. Faithfulness. The paperboy delivers the newspaper rain or shine, because people need to read the newspaper”. Ahh... There is a flicker coming on in my lightbulb now, just a little bit. I go to my Macbook and start typing what I just typed and then it starts coming in.

It goes like this...

Do you know that every time the paper is to be delivered, it is, whether sun or rain or cold or heat? It may be delivered in a different style to adjust for weather and for the paperboy himself, but it gets delivered because people need to get the newspaper. Some people read the whole thing through, some only read the sections they enjoy, some don't read it at all because they assume they won't enjoy it or need anything from it. Regardless of what gets done with the paper once it's delivered, the paper gets delivered.

Do you think the paperboy enjoys his job? Perhaps on days when the temperature and weather co-operate and on the days he gets paid the fruits of his labour and when he is commended or awarded by his boss for a job well done. But many days it is tiring, cold, wet, and the only things that keep him going are the hope of a promise fulfilled. Even more than his commitment. It's the promise that keeps him going. The promise that comes from his boss. The promise that this will be a good thing for his resume, a stepping stone to something bigger... (be faithful with little and I will put you over much, rings in my brain). What keeps him going does not originate with him, nor does it affect him alone. It relies on others and it impacts others.

Promise and hope. If that can be crushed in your enemy, you have won the war. Who is your enemy? And where is he crushing your hope and trying to destroy your promise? Where is your hope and what is the promise? Who gave you the promise and what does it whisper about your destiny that you have invested hope into. Where are you under attack? It is deeper than your soul. It is your spiritual DNA and your soul and body are designed in harmony with that spiritual DNA.

You have a destiny to tread upon the enemy of your promise and hope, not just for your sake, but for all the ones you are called to deliver to. Persevere. Draw on the support systems that you need to see that the mission of why you are here, does not miss you.

You are significant. Any voice that says otherwise is lying.

Do what it takes to be the fulfillment of the promise that is stamped into your spiritual DNA. Life is short, life is also full of second and third and fourth chances. Get over yourself. Humility is a huge weapon in your arsenal, that is too often underused. Stop blaming others, that cripples you, and hinders others. Reach out for what you need to find out what your promise is, how to get back on track. There are people waiting for what you will deliver.

How many have passed up a [paper route] because it was boring, tedious, beneath them, didn't pay enough or uncomfortable? How many leaders, and movers and shakers today, had paper routes when they were young? Don't despise the day of small beginnings, because the character it builds is a foundation on which a greater structure can be built. That greater structure is your promise. There is no fast track. But there is hope. Do what it takes to get back on track.

Your promise is waiting.

Why Is Noah Always Naked?

When my first-born daughter, Emma, was a toddler, someone had given her a plush, fabric book about Noah's Ark. The book came complete with a six-inch, sewn Ark and three-inch, sewn and stuffed animals, and Noah. They all had a spot of velcro on them, so you could stick them on the pages of the book, when called for, in the story. Noah was dressed in a blue robe, a cloth with a band on his head, and he had a whitish-grey beard. You could stuff them all inside the Ark, it was cute; Emma loved it.

One day I found Noah laying on the floor among the toys, but missing his blue robe. I kind of laughed to myself, remembering the story of Noah, in his tent, after the flood (when he had imbibed in one too many grape-pepsies from his vineyard, and passed out, disrobed). I decided the Noah doll should not stay that way, and so found his robe and tried to put it on him. Not easy. Not easy at all. Probably why he wasn't re-dressed by the child that disrobed him. I wrestled with this ridiculous thing for longer than I care to admit, but finally, he was decent again. I felt very satisfied in having persevered and done the right thing, despite the challenge of it. Noah was now acceptable again.

Flash forward a few years and child number two (another baby girl, Anna) comes along and also discovers the delight of this fabric book set. A few months ago I noticed Noah made it onto the bathroom floor, and again, no robe. This, of course, was not right, so I set about to fix it. Again I struggled and wrestled until after, like, forever, Noah was successfully clothed. Feeling very satisfied with the reward of my labors and finally being done with such tediousness, I carried on with my day.

A couple of months go by and guess what? Noah. Again. On the floor. No robe. Now I'm thinking, what is this? In a rush, I try to robe him again, but I really didn't have time... or patience, so I gave up and tossed him, half dressed, into the toy bin. Another couple months go by and Noah has found his way back to the bathroom floor, completely robeless once again. This time, with a little laugh under my breath, I wondered, why is Noah always naked? I left Noah where he was and carried on with life. For weeks, Noah lay on the floor. I stopped noticing his nakedness. I accepted his presence on the bathroom floor. I did move him back to the toys now and again, but he always made it back to the bathroom. I no longer tried to dress him. I just accepted him the way he was now.

Every now and then, when I would see him again, with a little laugh under my breath, I wondered, yet again, why is Noah always naked? I was kind of joking, but my spiritual antennae was beginning to pick up on something now, like there was something significant in all this. I asked God if He was trying to tell me something, but again I left Noah where he was and carried on with life.

The other day, after noticing naked Noah still on the floor, I talked about it to Emma, my eldest (now 8). I asked her why Noah was always naked. She said that Anna (age 2 and a half) undresses him, and that she tried to dress him for her, but Anna protested loudly, so she left him undressed. Emma's theory was that Anna didn't like Noah's robe, it wasn't her style. No doubt she'd prefer a tutu of some sort, but whatever it was, Noah's blue robe just wasn't cutting it for Anna.

This morning, as Noah greeted me in his usual birthday suit, I started getting pieces of insight about this scenario. I began to remember the Bible story (Genesis 9: 20-27) and how there is much significance in the piece about how Noah's sons respond to his nakedness. Nowhere does it say that God judged Noah for getting drunk on the fruit of his vineyard and passing out naked in his tent (it does say in Gen. 7:1 that Noah was a righteous man in his generation, in God's eyes). However, the son that sees his father's nakedness and goes to tell his brothers brings a curse on himself and his descendants. The brothers whom he told, decide to go into the tent backwards, with a robe stretched between them, their faces averted, so that they didn't gaze on their father's nakedness, and cover him. This resulted in bringing a blessing on themselves and their descendants.

There are people, both in the World and in the Church who seem to think that pointing out other's areas of nakedness is ok. They fail to see the plank in their own eye. They don't deal with their own issues that cause them to “gaze” at others and commit sins that are a hundred times worse than being found naked. What is in your heart? It is a worse sin not to cover each other's nakedness, than to be found naked. It is so much worse, that you are treading the dangerous territory of bringing down a curse on yourself and your descendants. Repent. Quickly. We are not called to expose nakedness... “Love covers a multitude of sins...”, but to love:

Proverbs 17:9 He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].

God is not an accuser, He is Love. Satan is an accuser. Do not be tempted to accuse, to uncover, and to expose one another. If you're struggling with a situation, seek God's wisdom for your life. Perhaps you are uncomfortable, because of what resides inside you, seek healing. Perhaps you are to move into a new thing and the discomfort is a signal to move. Go to God looking at yourself, not pointing your finger at another. You will find what you need in His presence.

God will forgive the foolishness of our youth as we repent; in regards to spiritual things, don't remain a foolish youth.

Grow up. Be gracious. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. When you blow it, we all do at times, repent. Apologize. And grow. And be blessed.

1 Corinthians 13:7-9

Amplified Bible (AMP)

7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy ([a]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

9 For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

Noah was like we all are, buck naked at times. His sons are an example to us in how we can choose to respond to that nakedness in each other.

Noah will always be naked.

We all have skin showing.

How will you respond?