God Can Fix It

Ya know, I overheard something that, although it may sound crass, would speak volumes about God to someone livin' in the trenches with no energy for beating around the bush, this statement you are about to read was expressed by someone, who like many of us, is simply knee deep in the world's crapola and recognizes God working in the midst of it. Ready? Here it is:

"God just took His big can of 'Unf--k' and sprayed it all over!"

God is good. He is able to unf--k stuff.

The Wrestle

I have wrestled with God,
and do you know how He wrestled me down?
With love.

Veneer

I was about to go start a painting, but something I came across while eating lunch inspired me to write instead.

In true, honest fashion, I must say that shiny-happy-people-wannabees make me feel a whole lot of complex emotions, if you get my drift. FAKE! Is what immediately crosses my mind. I think this is why many stay away from church. Too many Stepford people, or walking dead, are filling the pews. Not all, of course, many are wonderful and authentic people, but enough to still keep many suspicious or discerning folks at a distance.

It is NOT ok to pretend you are happy when you are not, or happier than you really are. It IS OK not to feel happy when unhappy stuff is going on. It is NOT ok to force intellectual doctrine on the emotions of the heart. You will split yourself into multiples and then judge others for not doing the same. It IS OK to say, “stuff is going on that makes me feel like crap, but I know God has my heart and will minister to me.”

And when He does, because He will, give Him the glory. Then an authentic song of praise will spill from your heart.

Contrast that with, “(Look how awesome I am): I just worshiped my way to a breakthrough and prayed all night, (I rock! And oh yeah, praise Jesus!). Why can't you do that? (must be something wrong with you, try harder you weak Christian!)”. Who's getting the glory now?

Telling someone they “shouldn't be sad or down because they are saved by Jesus” and “if you just pray more or praise more or had more will-power you'd be fine”, is like a kick in the gut after you're already down from a kick in the head. It's like lemon juice on a cut. For those willing to be honest about it.

For those who are still afraid of their emotions and think that if they feel too sad or down then they must not be “saved”, and so you apply a veneer and tell yourself the veneer is real and the emotions are not, please stop. It's disgusting. And, it's unscriptural. God wants your heart, imperfect as it is, not your fake veneer.

And the real people of the world want to know a real God, not your veneer-accepting version.

Jesus was a man of sorrows.

King David was prone to seasons of depression.

But they knew how to bring that to the Father. They didn't do it with shiny-happy songs. They did it by being honest with the most understanding Being ever.

I cannot imagine singing praise when my heart is in pain. I would have to seriously shut that heart down to do it. Do you know what that sounds like? A religeous spirit. It will kill the very essence of you: your heart. The part God really wants.

A heart that's been killed is never really dead though, it lives in dark places where we keep it hidden and tranquilized with whatever it takes to keep it there. Tranquilized with too much alcohol, too much television, drugs, too many movies, too many romance novels, pornography, violence, gambling, overworking, adultrey, too much internet, too much shopping... All these issues exist both in and out of the church among those who are afraid to really bring their hearts to Jesus.

Bring your true heart to God. Your life depends on it. Say no to veneer. He will not leave you standing with your heart in your hands, He will embrace you and show you the path of His love. I know, because I've been there.

Ecclesiastes 7:3

Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart.

Ecclesiastes 3:4

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

Proverbs 25:20

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

Psalm 61:1-3

Hear my cry, O God;
    listen to my prayer.

From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

For you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the foe.

I think you'll find, when you pull off that veneer, there's something really beautiful hidden underneath, and God is waiting to begin the restoration.

Shock Of Age(s)?

I confess.

Right now I am in a funk.

I don't, at this particular moment, care about inner beauty etc., because I noticed some stuff in the mirror.

Plus it's raining again.

Plus there was stuff in the little mirror and the long mirror and the wide mirror.

So I'm quite bummed out, actually.

If anyone says a peep about inner beauty, I may become violent. If you are tempted to preach I suggest you run.

Right now I am being tempted by things I normally think are a bad idea and cost lot's of money (which I don't have). Just as well, they make people look fake and rubbery anyway, some improvement (they paid for that? Egad.)!

Right now I am not being thankful, nope. I want to spit and cuss. Well, fine, at least I'm not a liar.

That's it.

That's right, nothing redeeming, nada. When God shines His bright, white, light in here I'll let you know.

Anyone seen the brown bag and scizzors?

BLAH.

Restoration Hardwired

I was very pleasantly surprised this morning by a hefty package on my doorstep from Restoration Hardware. It contained gorgeous catalogues of their various collections, almost 3 inches thick. I began to salivate. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. I waited to open them at a more opportune time, when I could truly savour the delight.

I finally opened the cover of the 1 inch thick “RH Interiors Spring 2013” catalogue this afternoon, coffee in hand, and read the opening letter from Gary Friedman, Chairman Emeritus, Creator and Curator. As I read his words of heart and passion, my heart began to thump, and I felt I would begin to weep. What he was writing about is authenticity. Passion. Hope. Dreaming. Being who you are with gusto, and in so living your life, being a contagious catalyst for the inspiration of others to be so propelled and glorious as well. When you shine, you give others permission to shine too, I heard this saying somewhere and have adopted it. But what made me want to weep is that this has been God's dream for the Church. Yet. We are not, as a collective, universal, Body of Christ, as passionate about God and Jesus as Gary and Co. are about their furniture. About their dream. Why not?

Why not?

My theory? Because the majority of those who call themselves the Church and Christian, don't know God. And so I wanted to weep. Because I feel God's heart for His Church, His Bride, His Body on earth. She has wandered. She has stuffed Him into her head, separated Him from her heart, and now wanders the desert like a zombie freak wondering why so many run from her.

But what if.

What if each zombie Christian and Church gave the Holy Spirit permission to do what He wills in His people, (those who profess His Name)? What if Christians let Jesus be Lord of their lives, instead of just paying lip service. What if Christians admitted their need for the power of God to restore their brokenness. What if they experienced the unconditional love and the gracious gift of healing in their hearts, minds and bodies that Christ offers?

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. But we don't just need saving from satan and his kingdom of darkness, we need saving from ourselves too. From the falseness we create as a security blanket, we don't know ourselves as beautiful, because we don't know God as beautiful, in who's image we are created. At one time or another, each of us experience a wound and a lie. It goes deep, and is indiscernable, at times, from our DNA, it grows up with us and becomes a part of who we, and others, think we are. But. God had a failsafe installed. We are restoration hardwired. Each one. But we don't run on batteries.

I love God, because He loved me first. I believe, because I have experienced. I have found, because I chose to seek. I got answers, because I asked. Him. And those He put in my path. I am grateful. He is the power source that restores what is broken. I am grateful. I am part of a Church that has chosen to plug in. I am grateful.

It is a journey, to shine. Restoration is painful. Think of a house that has had poorly planned additions and shoddy work done to it, or neglect. Sometimes a gutting is in order. But we are each a masterpiece of the world's premier Architect. We have good bones. We are made for beauty and pleasure, to have Divine relationship. We are made for love of the purest form. We are made to live out of that place.

Imagine. Dream. Hope. Be inspired. Shine!

Why 'My Christianity. Honestly."

I have several blogs and now I add this one.

Why:

I am hoping that this one will be easier to keep up because I did not limit myself with a theme.  I want the freedom to write my thoughts, emotions, ponderings, epiphanies, tantrums and interactions with God as they roll off my passionate mood.  And it is important to me (God knows why) for you, the reader, to understand that I am human and I am also a spiritual Christian, and that the two are not contradictory terms.

I care about real relationship with God, purity, transformation and wholeness.  Being real.  I hate homework, cooking/baking, making lunches and will not likely win parent of the year awards.  I don't do crafts.  I am not from venus, I am from mars and my husband understands and loves me the way I am.  I am blessed.  He also is not afraid to stand up to me and we have a very loving and dynamic relationship.  It's fantastic.  If God had not created my husband such a wonderful man, I may have become a nun, even though I am not Catholic.  Seriously.  I guess I might have to become Catholic to become a nun.  Fine with me.

I am also not just any human, but of a group of humans that are referred to as artistic, intellectual, gifted types.  No I did not give myself this title.  I discovered the artist thing early, but the other came over 30 years later, while trying to figure out why one of my children is so sensitive (emotionally and physically), moody, emotional, brilliant, anxious, creative, passionate, strong willed, opinionated, talented, perseverant (in what she loves), stick in mud (in what she hates), lives in heaven or hell (emotionally, depending on ?) and loves being alone, undisturbed, for great lengths of time, then emerging with something brilliant and complex.  All by age 5.

That is all for now.

Later.