The Extravagant Gift

Recently (well, 2 weeks ago now) the Lord pointed out that I have a problem with receiving extravagant gifts.

He used an example in the natural (a gift my husband gave me), to illustrate a parallel in how I have been treating my spiritual gifts, one in particular. I repented, so that He could heal me. I repented of shame and the "fear of man" (people). I didn't think I had those 2 issues, but He showed me, in the context of my increasing discomfort and inability to truly receive a beautiful gift that my husband gave me over a year ago.

I originally received the gift with great joy, but as I began to use it, all these other feelings would come. I kept the gift hidden from most people. I even began to express my doubt, to the giver, about whether I should have the gift.

God exposed the root of the problem: I was afraid of how others would feel if they saw what I had, I was afraid of being judged. I was more afraid of what others would think, than what I was doing to my husband's heart. My husband delighted to bless me with an extravagant gift, because his love for me is abundant and extravagant.

Just like God's love.

God said to me, “You are afraid of being judged for it by man, more than you are afraid of how I'll feel in your waning enthusiasm.” (If you love your husband, and his heart, enjoy the gift he gave) He was paralleling that with the spiritual gift He (God) has given me.

My response was: Because it is a thing, a rich, extravagant thing, and there are poor everywhere.

He said, “Yes Magda. There are poor everywhere. Will you keep Me hidden, then, as well?”

The penny drops.

God said (and my husband would agree), “I have given it to you with great joy, I want you to use it without shame.  Shame has been robbing you of the blessing the gift was intended to be.”

How often does satan use shame to rob us of blessing and joy?

At every opportunity.

Like today, when I wanted to cut holes in a paper bag and put it over my head.

How freaking lame is that?

Well. I guess that's it then. I've been sitting on this post for a couple weeks, until I wrote my 'Shock Of Age(s)?' post. See? There is a God who answers even pathetic “X”yr olds with too many mirrors.

The bright, white, Light revealeth all.

Carry on... and don't forget, God gave each of us shiny stuff.  Don't get robbed.

(Don't believe me?  The day I determined to act on this revelation and use the gift without shame, something fell on it and dented it.  A freak accident?  No way man.  That was a vindictive act in direct response to my decision.  An effort to, once again, steal my joy.  I see it as a battle scar.  They happen, and I'm still alive to tell about it.)