Ms. Grumpypants

I feel grumpy today. I will now identify the possible reasons why.

I woke up with a thick feeling in my throat. I don't do sick well. It's overcast and raining. My toddler is grumpy and her coughing and sneezing seems worse. I have a long list of domestic duties facing me today. How boring is that. Not only boring, but some of them I hate. Not dislike. Hate. I don't like spending any time of my days doing things I hate, especially since there are also many things I must do each day that I also dislike. So I procrastinate. This makes me feel worse, as guilt kicks in. I don't like being manipulated, which guilt does, so I push back. This can be translated as “digging my heels in and affirming my right to hate and love certain things, this is me, take it or leave it.” That kind of thinking then leads to questioning life decisions I've made. Which leads to worse thoughts. Now what do I do?

I can pep talk myself and perhaps count my blessings. I can practice thankfulness for the 1000 things that I have been blessed with. I can smack a smiley face on (science says this makes you feel better). I can stuff my feelings. I can deny the passionate me that feels at a million decibles. I am sorry, but that just would not be authentic. I don't do fake. My heart and mind need to operate on the same playing field or we are going to have a problem... something like an underground volcano in New York.

I am, what God made me. How do I navigate life according to the Spirit, being such a feeler? It has felt like a curse, at times. Like a bad joke. Yet I believe. In God's goodness, in what Jesus preached. Basically, I have learned a lot about grace. And mercy. Not as a license to sin, but as a loving gift from a loving heavenly Father who sees the big picture of me at all times. That Ming vase was once a slimy lump of clay, but the potter didn't throw it away, because He sees the vessel He is creating.

The lump of clay observes that life on the spinning wheel can be boring. It observes that the firing furnace is not fun (“I am thankful that it's not freezing in the furnace”. Really? Pfft.). But.

At the worst of times, I can say, that calling His name has been the difference. His strength. Not mine. My strength is s**t, really. That's what I mean by grace and mercy. Grace, He loves me and hears me and answers me, despite me. Mercy, I am still here. Still a believer. Because of what He has done for me.

I will now continue on with my crappy day.

Best,

M

The Faithfulness Of The Paperboy

So I asked the Lord this morning how He wanted to speak to me. I then poured another cup of Starbucks, dark roast, into my thus branded mug as the words, “faithfulness of the paperboy”, crossed my mind. Nothing else was coming, so I was, like, really? And began to think about sitting outside on the front step, on this gorgeous morning, with my Bible. Then thoughts of, “rain or shine, the news gets delivered” and an image of my Macbook gets implanted in my mind. I imagined sitting in front of it, one sentence typed: The Faithfulness of the Paperboy. Period. Ugh.

Then a question pops in, “Do you have faith that I will give you the words?” Yes. Yes I do. But the subject sounds boring, to be honest, so I'm thinking (hoping) it's not You. Then I hear, “Obedience. Faithfulness. The paperboy delivers the newspaper rain or shine, because people need to read the newspaper”. Ahh... There is a flicker coming on in my lightbulb now, just a little bit. I go to my Macbook and start typing what I just typed and then it starts coming in.

It goes like this...

Do you know that every time the paper is to be delivered, it is, whether sun or rain or cold or heat? It may be delivered in a different style to adjust for weather and for the paperboy himself, but it gets delivered because people need to get the newspaper. Some people read the whole thing through, some only read the sections they enjoy, some don't read it at all because they assume they won't enjoy it or need anything from it. Regardless of what gets done with the paper once it's delivered, the paper gets delivered.

Do you think the paperboy enjoys his job? Perhaps on days when the temperature and weather co-operate and on the days he gets paid the fruits of his labour and when he is commended or awarded by his boss for a job well done. But many days it is tiring, cold, wet, and the only things that keep him going are the hope of a promise fulfilled. Even more than his commitment. It's the promise that keeps him going. The promise that comes from his boss. The promise that this will be a good thing for his resume, a stepping stone to something bigger... (be faithful with little and I will put you over much, rings in my brain). What keeps him going does not originate with him, nor does it affect him alone. It relies on others and it impacts others.

Promise and hope. If that can be crushed in your enemy, you have won the war. Who is your enemy? And where is he crushing your hope and trying to destroy your promise? Where is your hope and what is the promise? Who gave you the promise and what does it whisper about your destiny that you have invested hope into. Where are you under attack? It is deeper than your soul. It is your spiritual DNA and your soul and body are designed in harmony with that spiritual DNA.

You have a destiny to tread upon the enemy of your promise and hope, not just for your sake, but for all the ones you are called to deliver to. Persevere. Draw on the support systems that you need to see that the mission of why you are here, does not miss you.

You are significant. Any voice that says otherwise is lying.

Do what it takes to be the fulfillment of the promise that is stamped into your spiritual DNA. Life is short, life is also full of second and third and fourth chances. Get over yourself. Humility is a huge weapon in your arsenal, that is too often underused. Stop blaming others, that cripples you, and hinders others. Reach out for what you need to find out what your promise is, how to get back on track. There are people waiting for what you will deliver.

How many have passed up a [paper route] because it was boring, tedious, beneath them, didn't pay enough or uncomfortable? How many leaders, and movers and shakers today, had paper routes when they were young? Don't despise the day of small beginnings, because the character it builds is a foundation on which a greater structure can be built. That greater structure is your promise. There is no fast track. But there is hope. Do what it takes to get back on track.

Your promise is waiting.

Why Is Noah Always Naked?

When my first-born daughter, Emma, was a toddler, someone had given her a plush, fabric book about Noah's Ark. The book came complete with a six-inch, sewn Ark and three-inch, sewn and stuffed animals, and Noah. They all had a spot of velcro on them, so you could stick them on the pages of the book, when called for, in the story. Noah was dressed in a blue robe, a cloth with a band on his head, and he had a whitish-grey beard. You could stuff them all inside the Ark, it was cute; Emma loved it.

One day I found Noah laying on the floor among the toys, but missing his blue robe. I kind of laughed to myself, remembering the story of Noah, in his tent, after the flood (when he had imbibed in one too many grape-pepsies from his vineyard, and passed out, disrobed). I decided the Noah doll should not stay that way, and so found his robe and tried to put it on him. Not easy. Not easy at all. Probably why he wasn't re-dressed by the child that disrobed him. I wrestled with this ridiculous thing for longer than I care to admit, but finally, he was decent again. I felt very satisfied in having persevered and done the right thing, despite the challenge of it. Noah was now acceptable again.

Flash forward a few years and child number two (another baby girl, Anna) comes along and also discovers the delight of this fabric book set. A few months ago I noticed Noah made it onto the bathroom floor, and again, no robe. This, of course, was not right, so I set about to fix it. Again I struggled and wrestled until after, like, forever, Noah was successfully clothed. Feeling very satisfied with the reward of my labors and finally being done with such tediousness, I carried on with my day.

A couple of months go by and guess what? Noah. Again. On the floor. No robe. Now I'm thinking, what is this? In a rush, I try to robe him again, but I really didn't have time... or patience, so I gave up and tossed him, half dressed, into the toy bin. Another couple months go by and Noah has found his way back to the bathroom floor, completely robeless once again. This time, with a little laugh under my breath, I wondered, why is Noah always naked? I left Noah where he was and carried on with life. For weeks, Noah lay on the floor. I stopped noticing his nakedness. I accepted his presence on the bathroom floor. I did move him back to the toys now and again, but he always made it back to the bathroom. I no longer tried to dress him. I just accepted him the way he was now.

Every now and then, when I would see him again, with a little laugh under my breath, I wondered, yet again, why is Noah always naked? I was kind of joking, but my spiritual antennae was beginning to pick up on something now, like there was something significant in all this. I asked God if He was trying to tell me something, but again I left Noah where he was and carried on with life.

The other day, after noticing naked Noah still on the floor, I talked about it to Emma, my eldest (now 8). I asked her why Noah was always naked. She said that Anna (age 2 and a half) undresses him, and that she tried to dress him for her, but Anna protested loudly, so she left him undressed. Emma's theory was that Anna didn't like Noah's robe, it wasn't her style. No doubt she'd prefer a tutu of some sort, but whatever it was, Noah's blue robe just wasn't cutting it for Anna.

This morning, as Noah greeted me in his usual birthday suit, I started getting pieces of insight about this scenario. I began to remember the Bible story (Genesis 9: 20-27) and how there is much significance in the piece about how Noah's sons respond to his nakedness. Nowhere does it say that God judged Noah for getting drunk on the fruit of his vineyard and passing out naked in his tent (it does say in Gen. 7:1 that Noah was a righteous man in his generation, in God's eyes). However, the son that sees his father's nakedness and goes to tell his brothers brings a curse on himself and his descendants. The brothers whom he told, decide to go into the tent backwards, with a robe stretched between them, their faces averted, so that they didn't gaze on their father's nakedness, and cover him. This resulted in bringing a blessing on themselves and their descendants.

There are people, both in the World and in the Church who seem to think that pointing out other's areas of nakedness is ok. They fail to see the plank in their own eye. They don't deal with their own issues that cause them to “gaze” at others and commit sins that are a hundred times worse than being found naked. What is in your heart? It is a worse sin not to cover each other's nakedness, than to be found naked. It is so much worse, that you are treading the dangerous territory of bringing down a curse on yourself and your descendants. Repent. Quickly. We are not called to expose nakedness... “Love covers a multitude of sins...”, but to love:

Proverbs 17:9 He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].

God is not an accuser, He is Love. Satan is an accuser. Do not be tempted to accuse, to uncover, and to expose one another. If you're struggling with a situation, seek God's wisdom for your life. Perhaps you are uncomfortable, because of what resides inside you, seek healing. Perhaps you are to move into a new thing and the discomfort is a signal to move. Go to God looking at yourself, not pointing your finger at another. You will find what you need in His presence.

God will forgive the foolishness of our youth as we repent; in regards to spiritual things, don't remain a foolish youth.

Grow up. Be gracious. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. When you blow it, we all do at times, repent. Apologize. And grow. And be blessed.

1 Corinthians 13:7-9

Amplified Bible (AMP)

7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy ([a]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

9 For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

Noah was like we all are, buck naked at times. His sons are an example to us in how we can choose to respond to that nakedness in each other.

Noah will always be naked.

We all have skin showing.

How will you respond?

Hope

Unfurling leaf and fragrant bud;

Oh how I miss you!

Hum of bee and clapping leaves;

Green for sight and warm soil touch.

Icy fingers hold you back;

my heart is looking forward.

Patience is trying;

A heart so eager,

To feel color, sound, and heat.

Thankfulness is blessed;

Passion and joy feel best.

What was,

Was.

What is,

Is.

But what can be,

Moves me.

His Presence

He serenades me with the song of a thousand birds,

and comforts me with the rays of the sun.

The wind is full of His passion and purpose.

The snow falls gently around and upon me,

like His presence,

bringing His peace and the wonder of Him.

There is nothing that can compare with this blessing.

Nothing.

I had to learn that.

I will never forget.